Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Evolution 8 & 9: Repose & Tranquility

Here are the final two sections of my long-ass semi-autobiographical poem about my sexual awakening.  These last two parts were more wishes and desires I had for the future, not any real experience, but writing them sure felt right.


VIII.    Repose

Empty beer cans stand on the coffee table,
Soldiers drained performing their duty --
Satisfying our thirst, if not desire.
Your sneakers lie beside the couch,
Mine, under the endtable.
Boxes of your things lie everywhere --
We spent the day moving you in.
Now is the quiet time --
The ordeal of unpacking will come.
But now, slumped into the recliner,
Between sips of warm beer,
I drink in your shirtless body,
Snoozing on the couch.
Your chest, sweat-matted,
Cresting and falling like waves,
Your shrivled manhood peaking unashamed
From the leg of your loose gym shorts,
Fills me with anticipation
For the sleepness night ahead.


IX.       Tranquility

The summer we spent the beach house
Is fast coming to a close.
It is not yet cold here
But the heat of summer is fading.
The sunbathers are nearly all gone,
A few lone joggers still make their runs
In the mornings and early evenings.

Waking up to find you beside me,
Feeling the warmth of your body against mine,
The firmness of your thighs,
The coarseness of the hair on your chest,
The definition of your stomach as I caress you,
The hardness of your erection.
What a joy this summer has been.

The morning sun casts a shadow
Over our still, embraced and naked bodies.
Lighting the fine hairs of your arms in a halo.

Outside, a seagull perched on the porch railing
Flaps its wings and flies away.
How like the gull I feel with you --
In your embrace I fly to new heights
Far above the world of trouble and pain.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Evolution 6 & 7: Cowboy Carom and Rug Burn

Here are another two entries in my semi-autobiographical poem "Evolution by the Numbers".

VI.       Cowboy Carom

I saw you sitting
On a stool at the bar, naked
In your leather vest and chaps
Nursing your beer      
Studying me   
As I played the game.
Glancing at you          
Over my shoulder,     
Feeling the cue --       
Long, hard, smooth --
Preparing to shoot,     
I knew you were interested.
Finally, you came,
Challenging me.
The game was Cowboy --      
You shot first
Sinking the Five,
Caroming into the Three.
Scoring was fast --     
The crack of ball against ball,
Setting up straight shots,
Bank shots,
The cue lightly kissing another
Into the pocket
Blue chalk between our fingers.
Beating you by one,
I bought you a beer.
We talked and joked.
Finally, smiling,
We left for my apartment.


VII.     Rug Burn

Your callused hands massage my chest,
Your fingers squeeze and pinch my nipples to erectness
Making me rigid with desire.
Nuzzling, your beard scraps my shoulder.
Grasping you by the root of your being
I stroke your velvety firmness.
Mingling sweat and musk is heady incense.
Sweat-soaked chest slides against chest
As you glide down my body,
Chin-stubble abrasively tickling,
Fingers and tongue exploring
Each ridge and ripple of muscle,
Each strand of coarse down.
Eyeing my manhood,
Your fingers embrace my hardness,
Fondle my softness.
You bury your nostrils deep in my groin,
As tongue replaces fingers.
Engulfed by your warm lips,
You work your way down me as you would a popsicle.
Eagerly, ardently, you take me.
Hungrily, you suck me dry
Until I am small with exhaustion.
Releasing me, you fold me,
Press against my forbidden boundary
And plunge into my deepest recesses.
Impaled, pooled in sweat,
I pull you in deeper until you erupt,
Filling me with magma warmth.
Unfolded, embraced, we laze, fingers caressing.
The impish gleam in your eyes reflect
The passion in my resurrection.

Evolution 4 & 5: Rejected & The Gym

Last week I posted a two entries of my semi-autobiographical poem on my sexual awakening.  Here are a couple more sections

IV.       Rejected

Disowned,
Displaced,
Dispossessed.
I am dead to my family --
Having died
When I confronted
My Shadow.
Accepting it,
I was reborn.
They could not accept.
Moving away,
I settled in a new place
Where I am free.
 

V.        The Gym
 
Grunts and groans fill the warm room
Intermingling with the clank of weights
And the faint hiss of the radiator.
Sweat plasters my shirt to my chest,
Drips off my brow into my tired eyes,
Mats down my hair.
I can barely lift the iron weights.
Exhausted, I make my way to my locker
And slip out of my wet clothes.
With only a towel in hand,
I stop at the fountain for a drink of water.
In the sauna, I relax in the soothing heat
Fully exposed among others, unconcerned.
The heat robs the passion from our groins.
Flaccid, we speak of sports or politics
As eyes gaze and tentative fingers brush sweaty skin.
Showering away the sweat,
Warm water and soap slide over my chest,
Down my abdomen and legs to the drain.
Mist and musk combine erotically.
I examine the others with me as I feel my own flesh.
A hand, not my own, glides over my back
Down to my thighs, feeling me for ripeness.
A rough chin nuzzles my shoulder
As another hand caresses my broad soapy chest,
Moves down past my stomach to my groin.
Grasping me, it squeezes and pumps
Until I spill my seed into the hand.
Then he is gone, leaving me wanting more.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Evolution 2 & 3. Anonymity & Embraced

The other day I started posting my semi-autobiographical poem about my sexual awakening.  Below are another two installments.



II       Anonymity

"Hanky Panky" by Patrick Angus

The images on the screen
Depict the physicality of male sex.
There is no tenderness there or plot --
Just raw, raunchy sex.

In the darkness,
Men watch actors perform fantasies,
And stroke themselves
To handkerchiefed climaxes.

In back roomed shadows,
Strong hands grope naked flesh
Among the willing and consenting,
Releasing lust in sweat and seed.


III.       Embraced


Ascending the ill-lit stairs
I wonder about the rightness
Of the actions I now take.
But right or wrong,
My loins overrule my reason
And I hunger.
 
I enter a new reality
Defined by male physicality.
Stripping off my identity with my clothes,
I prowl the darkened maze
Of hallways and chambers,
A faceless specter.
 
Watching the many different Shadow-men,
Observing the secret rituals of their lust,
I watch as they conjoin,
Coupling in twos and threes.
The scent of musk and sweat and seed
Is a heady incense.
 
I find release for my desire,
Among the Shadow-men
And in the pleasures of the naked flesh.
Embracing that hunger, that need,
I answer the question
That has been burning in my soul.
 
Leaving the mazes,
I shower myself clean of float and sweat,
Having made a pact between self and Self.
Though I am tainted before society's accusing eyes,
I have embraced my Shadow
And can face the light of day.

 


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Evolution 1. The Lure

When I was first exploring my sexuality, I often went to some of Manhattan's gay-friendly neighborhoods -- Chelsea, Midtown, Greenwich Village -- to explore that side of me.  Sometimes I went to porn houses, sometimes to strip shows, sometimes to the backrooms of bars and clubs.  Through it all, the newness and the forbidden nature of it made me want it even more. 

A few years ago, I wrote about some of my experiences in a long, multi-part poem that I first called "Images Off Color".  I have revised the poem several times since.  In this latest version, I changed the title to "Evolution by the Numbers".  I present the first part here.  Other parts will follow.


Evolution by the Numbers

1. The Lure
"I prowl darkend streets, neon flickering."
A wolf on the hunt, I prowl
Darkened streets.


Neon flickers, offering tawdry amusements.
Seedy dives, peep shows, beckon.
I should not linger here, but they call.
Why does my pulse race?
I am of age to do what I desire.
I enter dark halls --
Shadows conceal lust and sex.
Unsure, I pause in this place of men,
Shadow-dwellers.
There is freedom in the shadows --
Freedom to be and to dare --
I embrace it.



Saturday, March 26, 2011

The Ruined Cottage


Hiking amid elms and maples

Full green and moist from the morning drizzle,

I remembered the overgrown paths,

The mossy boulders,

The stream of crystal, earth-cooled water.

The years I had been away faded like early-morning mist.

As I strolled toward the old, one-roomed shack

That used to be the secret childhood meeting place

Of my boyhood friends, I recalled

Our "girl-haters club" and the night I spent there

With my first lover when I was sixteen.

I hiked slowly amid the greens and cooling shadows

Still, sweat from the hike made my shirt cling to me.

I unbuttoned as I strolled, letting the breeze cool me.

Picking up a branch to use as a walking stick,

I traveled toward noon.

Soon I came upon that wooden house

And paused as I inspected it with my gaze.

The boards where gray with age, green with moss,

The panes, darkened by shadows, broken or missing

Turned its once-friendly facade into a toothless hag.

I had expected the pathway to be overgrown

With grass and weeds even more now than then,

But the way was clear.

Surely others had found this place,

Played here as I once had.

The gap-toothed windows uttered no sound,

Betrayed no movement.

The doorway, closed, seemed to beacon me forward,

And I went.

What had I to fear?

I was sure the house was empty.

It was then, around the door, I noticed

Footprints the rain had been unable to wash

Away because of the thickness of the trees

And other, more telling signs of who used this shack.

No children played here.

I opened the door and entered the hollow chamber.

When my eyes adjusted to the shadows,

Stabbed by the two-hour old

Western sunlight, I saw the old table,

The now-understuffed chairs littered with leaves,

The leaf-strewn floor and stone-cold fireplace.

I walked further inside as quietly

As I could on the squeaking floorboards

But my movements woke the stranger.

"Who's there?" a voice behind me called.

I turned and saw, half hidden by a chair in the corner,

The shadowed figure of a man rising.

"Just a hiker," I said.

He came from behind the chair

Wearing only blue jeans and socks.

"What time is it?" he asked sleepily.

"Just after two."

He yawned and stretched, scratched his hairy chest

And his groin unconsciously.

"What's it like outside?" he asked moving to his backpack.

"Nice. It stopped raining about nine o'clock."

"Must have been after I fell asleep."

"Nice ass," I said to myself loud enough

For him to hear as I viewed the tight denim

Of his buttocks. "Thanks." He faced me and smiled,

One hand cupping the crotch of his Levis,

His cock clearly outlined. I felt mine stir.

We embraced and kissed fully on the mouth

While I kneaded his mounds and he removed my shirt.

The heat of our passion set fire to our loins.

We discarded the veneer of civilization

With our clothes as each piece fell to the floor.

And grappling each other with primal fury,

We explored each other fully,

Inch by inch, orifice by orifice,

Throughout the growing afternoon.

As the sun began to set, our heat increased

And we spent long hours in darkness joined by our lust.

Well past midnight, as the moon fell earthward,

We dropped off into a deep sleep, still entwined together.

We woke with the sun in our eyes, embraced

Against the chill of early morning.

We smiled and dressed,

Backs turned in false modesty

And walked out of the little ruined cottage,

Side by side, down the overgrown path to the broken gate.

We lingered, unsure.

"Which way are you going?" I asked him quietly

As he hefted his pack onto his back.

He looked at me, smiled, teeth gleaming, hair uncombed.

"With you," he simply said and together

We walked down the road talking and laughing

As the sun climbed higher into the sky.