I have had sex with quite a number of men in the twelve years since I admitted to myself that I preferred men to women. Quite a lot of those sexual encounters were just that -- encounters; an anonymous dick through a glory hole, random meetings in a bar or the park that ended with me sucking a stranger's cock, fucking a stranger's ass or having a stranger fuck me or suck my dick. Sometimes one of us was naked (or nearly so) but usually it was just a pair of dropped pants that were quickly hiked right back up again afterward. And while the act of sucking someone's dick or fucking their ass may seem quite intimate, it is anything but.
Anonymous sex is narcissistic. It's about pleasing yourself; getting your rocks off.
When I was sucking some random guy's cock in a back room of a bar, it was all about me making him cum so I could shoot my load all over the floor or his shoes or his pants. When I was fucking some stranger, it was about me filling his guts with my cum. I didn't care at all if he came. When I was getting fucked, it all about the feel of the cock in my ass and the sensation of it slipping in and out of me. The same thing when my cock was getting sucked; it was all about the feel of the tongue and the heat of the mouth.
Intimacy does not come from being naked with another person. I've been naked with plenty of guys. Being naked is part of the act of sex.
Intimacy begins with the willingness to share who you are and what you love with another person. It begins with allowing that other person to see you soul naked, not just your body.
I have been truly intimate with only a few men. Eddie, my first lover; Toro, the man who introduced me to leather play and bondage; Ian, the man who would become my husband; and Billy, the man who shared my and Ian's bed.
Intimacy does not happen right away, it takes time and a willingness to learn about the other person in the relationship. Ian and I are very intimate. But we give each other space too.
Another person I am becoming intimate with is my half-brother, T.J. (and no, not in a sexual way you pervs). It has taken us more than a year and a half to reach the level of intimacy we share. I respect his privacy and he respects mine and Ian's. There are rules in place in our household, but T.J. can ask me or Ian anything. He has asked about our sex life, and I've explained as much as I was comfortable with. He's met our friends and is comfortable around them. We don't hold back the tuth about who we are and that has allowed me and T.J. to become very close, the way brothers should be. Do I tell T.J. everything? No, but who tells everyone everything? It isn't so much keeping secrets as it is setting boundries. And T.J. understands and respects that. And I know that he doesn't tell me everything either. I wouldn't expect him too.
Intimacy begins with the willingness to share who you are and what you love with another person. It begins with allowing that other person to see you soul naked, not just your body.
I have been truly intimate with only a few men. Eddie, my first lover; Toro, the man who introduced me to leather play and bondage; Ian, the man who would become my husband; and Billy, the man who shared my and Ian's bed.
Another person I am becoming intimate with is my half-brother, T.J. (and no, not in a sexual way you pervs). It has taken us more than a year and a half to reach the level of intimacy we share. I respect his privacy and he respects mine and Ian's. There are rules in place in our household, but T.J. can ask me or Ian anything. He has asked about our sex life, and I've explained as much as I was comfortable with. He's met our friends and is comfortable around them. We don't hold back the tuth about who we are and that has allowed me and T.J. to become very close, the way brothers should be. Do I tell T.J. everything? No, but who tells everyone everything? It isn't so much keeping secrets as it is setting boundries. And T.J. understands and respects that. And I know that he doesn't tell me everything either. I wouldn't expect him too.
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