My 100th Post! -- Relationships and Sex

I’ve been thinking about relationships lately, now that Ian and I are engaged.  We have a great relationship and the sex is great too!  But I still wonder what our relationship would have been like had Billy not left.  Would the three of us simply stayed in our old relationship pattern; three healthy, sexually active gay men living together and having sex together, sometimes all three of us, sometimes only two of us?  Or was Billy’s departure meant to happen?

I have to admit, the time that Billy lived with me and Ian seems so long ago but he moved back to Philadelphia in June of 2011.  It's been a little more than a year and I’m in a great place now.  When Billy moved in with me and Ian and my Grandma who was still alive Ian and I often saw Billy around, at the clubs or a mutual friend’s place, and more often than not, he came home with us.  The sex the three of us had was fucking fantastic!  Then he would leave. I always presumed he went home.  I later learned he was living in his car, crashing on couches or spare beds when he had the chance.

Those weekends Billy spent with me and Ian were often filled with hours of non-stop fucking and sucking!  In the bedroom, in the shower, even a few times in the backyard in the middle of the night!  Once, Grandma actually found Billy sleeping on the couch one Sunday morning, naked as the day he was born; the blanket on the floor.  Without so much as batting an eye, picked up the blanket, covered Billy up again and tucked him back in.  Then she went into the kitchen and started cooking a huge breakfast for all of us.  That’s the kind of woman she was – accepting of me and my boyfriends.  (Not that she liked all of them, in fact there was this one guy covered with tattoos that she didn’t like because of his constant cursing.  But she did like Billy because he was always so polite.)

Eventually, those weekends when Billy crashed on the couch grew more and more frequent.  They sometimes stretched to four or five days, not that I minded much.  When that happened, it meant that Ian or I would get a little extra fucking in that night.  I sometimes wondered if Billy thought of the sex as sort of a payment for spending the night.  Anyway, one Sunday morning in March of 2009, Grandma, over breakfast, suggested Billy move into the guest room. 

I remember her words exactly when I asked her if she was sure.  “Sweetie,” she said, “the boy needs a place to call his own.  Besides he practically lives here as it is.  And if he moves in, I get a little more eye-candy to look at.”  I swear my Grandma was a hoot!

So Billy moved in and lived with us for about two and a half years.  And for the most part they were good years.  But looking back now, I can see that even with Billy in the picture, I loved Ian more.  I know for a fact that Ian and Billy didn’t fuck as often as Billy and I did, but there was a difference between the sex I had with Billy and the sex I had with Ian.  With Billy, it was great – sweaty, ball-slapping, primal.  But when he fucked me or sucked my dick, my mind often wandered and when I was on top, there was almost an urgency, a roughness – I fucked him hard and deep and manhandled his cock a little more roughly – all to cum that much more intensely and quickly.  Afterward, when we were done, it was lay on the bed, catch our breath and then shower.  But with Ian it was different.  Yes, the fucking was still sweaty, ball-slapping and intensely primal, but the sucking was less rough most of the time.  I actually loved the feel of his cock sliding down my throat!  And his tongue on mine was magic!  He would bring me to the edge of cumming then stop.  He would do that until I was begging to cum!  It was like a sexual roller-coaster!  And then afterward, when all was said and done, we would lay with each other and just relax.  There was no hurry, no desire to shower right away.  

 

Maybe that was the difference.  Billy was a fuck-buddy and, even back then, Ian was my lover.  So I guess Billy would have left eventually after all.  Thinking about it now, I’m surprised he stayed as long as he did, all things considered.  

 

I guess it took me a little longer to grow up and realize some things.  I will always love Billy, but Ian is the love of my life.  He makes me happy.  And when all is said and done, isn’t that what a relationship is about – making someone else happy?